Regrets...some thoughts
I watched the latest episode of House and there was a quote I thought was rather profound "Actions have consequences…being a man is accepting them". There are only a few things that I can say I regret in my life. Some I can change some I cannot.
There's another quote from the Brad Paisley song "Letter to Me", that hits rather close to home. "...Go Hug Aunt Rita every chance you get". This hits home because it'll soon be 3 years since my Aunt died. There had been some tension between her and my mom that stemmed from an incident on the Fourth of July a few years back now. One of my cousins threw water on me, which I warned she shouldn't do, and I stormed off. From what I've been told my Aunt and my Mom started bickering over it. After that they hardly spoke. They did begin to talk a bit about a year before my Aunt died, but it was never the same as prior to the incident.
In September of 2007, my Grandma called my Mom to say that my Grandpa had collapsed, I drove my Mom and a couple of family members to my Grandparents house and then I drove my Aunt and my Mom to the hospital. It was not long after that when they told us that he had died. I bring this up because I never spent enough time with him. My family and I along with my Grandparents lived in the same house from about 1986 to 1989. It was cramped with 9 people in the house but it was fun none-the-less.
After the incident on the Fourth of July my grandma started saying that us grandkids were ungrateful and complaining about the fact that none of them ever came over. I was one of the only ones who actually did go over on a somewhat regular basis. When I was overall there I would listen to my grandpa rail about how the Chinese were going to take over the world and the like. I always listened, why, because it's just who I am. I always listen. I may not agree, but I always listen.
The last regret which is not family related is a situation that I had with a friend of mine who was one of the only true friends I had in high school and the only one who I really kept up with afterwards. The incident stemmed from a slip of the tongue I made that he kept harping on. I had said that my fiance's (girlfriend at the time) favorite time was the Holocaust. It was not the fact that he made fun of me for a few days, but that he would not let up on it. It came to the point where I told him to never talk to me again. I regret this statement now. It's been a couple of years since I last spoke to him. I have tried reaching out to him to apologize and I have done so. But I fear it's too late and that I forever lost his friendship.
I am not sure what brought all of this on, but it's something I thought I would share. I cannot undo everything that I have done, but I can attempt to undo some of the things that I have done. Most everything in my life I do not regret as it has made me who I am today. There are a few things I would have done differently but I am not sure if those matter in the grander scheme of things.
The last quote that has made an impact on me is in the Song "New Orleans" by Toby Keith. The lyric is as follows "There's a few defining moments in Every Persons' Life, Where You Know What You've Done Wrong, And You Know What You've Done Right."
Maybe I'm just taking a bigger look at what I've done right and wrong over the past 28 1/2 years I am not sure. Who knows what will happen in the next 28 1/2 years of my life. I hope I do not have as many regrets during the next 28 1/2 years as I do now. Maybe I can fix a few of the ones I have now so that they will not be regrets. Only time will tell.